


Draco Malfoy; Human Disaster

by Brittrbrashear



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, F/M, M/M, One Shot, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 22:59:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16376660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brittrbrashear/pseuds/Brittrbrashear
Summary: Have some Tumblr-inspired Drarry Fluff!





	Draco Malfoy; Human Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> When I saw this post, I knew I had to write something for it. Credit to the Tumblr users darthmalfoy and mxlfoydraco for the concept!
> 
> *update* I FOUND THE POST!  
> http://brittrbrashear.tumblr.com/post/179537608011/darthmalfoy-mxlfoydraco-you-know-what-i
> 
> Shout out to my Drarry chat for keeping me inspired. Love you all!

As Head Auror, Harry received a variety of calls a day. Some came from Kingsley to pass on case information or to make plans for dinner at the Burrow. Sometimes it was Ron calling to discuss the latest disastrous ending to a Chudley Cannons game. On the road as often as she was, Ginny often called to laugh about foreign newspapers that still labeled them as a couple, quoting the highlights with as much exaggeration as she could muster. Luna liked to call about her newest adventure, Neville his plants, and Hermione often called about a new book release or to discuss a case that Kingsley had let her in on. 

 

So when his phone lit up with Hermione’s name across the screen, Harry thought little of it as he flipped open his phone. 

 

“Hey, Hermione. What's up?”

 

“Uhmm… Harry,” she began tentatively.

 

“What the fuck is he saying?!” Ron shouted in the background. “He’s off his rocker!”

 

“You might want to turn on Channel Eleven,” Hermione finished. 

 

Reaching for the remote, Harry’s brows furrowed. “Why? Aren't they doing some exclusive on Dr- Malfoy tonight?”

 

“Well, you see, that’s just it. He’s bombing it but-”

 

“Euurgh!”

 

“Quiet down, Ronald!” She hissed sharply. “Harry, they’ve asked him about you.”

 

“Really? Why?” Harry asked as he flipped the channel, only to stop and stare at the screen. 

 

That was certainly Draco, alright, looking far more nervous and anxious than Harry had ever seen him. His eyes were wide and darting around, completely unable to focus on the reporter in front of him. His hair was out of place, his posture stiff, and he looked ready to bolt out the door. But what really got to Harry was the bar beneath Draco that read;

 

“Draco Malfoy; Human Disaster.”

 

“Harry?”

 

“Oh my god. What happened to him?!”

 

“They've been asking him lots of questions, and he's tried to dodge them, but-”

 

“Well, yeah, but who hasn't had gay thoughts about Potter?” blurted from his tv, followed by nervous laughter. Harry couldn't believe his ears as he turned to see the very same subtitled. He hadn't expected the interview to go well, but this was an entirely new level.

 

“NOT ME!” Ron hollered in the background. “Oh  _ god _ , no. Sorry mate, but-”

 

“Shut up, Ron! Harry, what are you going to do?”

 

Harry sat there on his couch, staring at the screen in shock. This was a rather interesting turn of events. There were several things he had prepared for, and while this wasn't one of them, he still had a solution just the same. He dusted some crumbs and stray cat hair off of his uniform as he stood.

 

“Harr-”

 

“Record Ron for me,” he replied, snapping his phone shut before he twisted on the spot. He had been to the Wizarding news studios plenty of times for one interview or another. He usually had little issue with the team from Channel Eleven, but they weren't going to like him much longer. Barging through the door and ignoring the security guard, Harry made a beeline down the hall.

 

Their discussion of the interview had been quite brief, and he had worried it would go something like this. But Harry had promised he wouldn't watch it, and so he hadn't. Instead, he had put his most trusted friend up to the task, and was quite glad that Hermione had come through for him once again. 

 

Passing various interview rooms, Harry headed for the one at the end of the hall that the studio reserved for their highest profile interviews. The one with those gaudy white couches they had Malfoy on that made him appear even paler than usual.

 

“Mister Potter, you can't go in there!” The security guard called down the hall. “We have an interview in pro-”

 

Without knocking, without hesitating in the slightest, Harry shoved the door open, interrupting the interview. Startled out of his skin, Draco jolted where he sat on the pristine couch and turned to look at him. The stress and anxiety were plain to see, his face appearing even more angular than usual. Distraught, mercurial eyes studied him as Harry drew closer, ignoring the camera that swung his way. When he had finally reached the sofa, Harry gently caught Draco’s cheeks between his palms and leaned forward, capturing his lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. 

 

The studio was drop dead silent as Harry drew back, grinning at Draco broadly. Draco ducked his head, hiding his flushed cheeks and small smile as Harry sat down beside him and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders.

 

“Sorry I’m late, babe. Now, where were we?” He asked, looking at the stunned interviewer with an expression of heavy expectation. 

 

“I… uhh… umm… Well, we were-”

 

Just as the woman was gathering her wits, the sound of Harry’s mobile filled the room. He fished it out without a care in the world. “Sorry, it'll just be a ‘mo,” he told the camera. “Hello?”

 

“Harry James Potter, I expect you at St. Mungo’s the moment you've finished that interview, and you're paying for Ron’s hospital bill!” Beside him, Draco was chuckling into his shoulder, more than capable of hearing Hermione. Harry was notorious for leaving his volume all the way up after all. 

 

“Did you get it on camera?” He asked, grinning at Draco.

 

“....Yes, but-” 

 

“Consider it done. We’ll meet you there,” he replied, snapping the phone shut. He jammed it back into his pocket before he addressed the still-stunned brunette woman before him. 

 

“Right then, where were we? Oh yes, ‘Draco Malfoy; Human disaster.’ Rather rude and unflattering I think, as he spends a fair bit of time bailing me out of my messes. Because, let's be honest, if either of us is a disaster, it's me. Can't even fix my own hair.” 

 

“Potter, you're ridiculous,” Draco huffed, but he was starting to relax against Harry’s side. 

 

“Well, yes, but you knew that. Got anything else, Miss Hambler?” 

 

The poor woman was gaping like a fish and Harry shrugged. He’d been in plenty of interviews over the years, and had gotten quote used to dealing with the press that Draco had actively avoided. 

 

“I think you broke her, Harry,” he muttered and Harry smiled. 

 

“Nah,” he replied, nudging Draco. They stood together, fingers intertwined as they left the stunned and silent studio. “She’ll recover in time for an evening exclusive. Should arrive about the time that Ron wakes, I wager.” 

 

“Remind me to get Granger something lovely for Christmas. I can't wait to see that video.”

 

“Don't worry. She won't let you forget,” Harry replied as he left a gentle kiss on Draco’s temple and kicked the door closed behind them.

 

Meanwhile, Hermione watched from beside her unconscious husband’s hospital bed as the camera swung back to the interviewer. The poor woman stammered out a wrap up before they frantically cut to commercial. Shaking her head, Hermione flipped open a magazine from the nearby table. 

 

“Damn right, I won't.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, kudos and comments are golden!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: brittrbrashear


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